Crustache

"Seventh Seal" by Scott Walker

2009-02-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

RIP Silver Jews

2009-01-23T11:21:00.004-05:00

Since about 2004, the two biggest people in my life have been David Berman and Gilbert Arenas and I never believe anything either of them EVER says.

As reported everywhere now (via the Joos message board), the Silver Jews are apparently no more. Knowing Berman's crazy ways, it might take me up to five years of no new music for me to actually believe the Joos are over.

"I always said we would stop before we got bad. If I continue to record I might accidentally write the answer song to 'Shiny Happy People'."

That's at least nice to hear. Though the Joos were never REM. You knew they had no mainstream possibilities and that they'd always be "yours" just as long as they put out albums as solid last year's Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea. Knowing Berman's genius and cool, you knew you'd never get anything less, regardless of what he says.

I may have came late to the party but that still doesn't change the effect his music had one me. I reset my last.fm page last January and over the last year I have listened the Joos 1,215 times and that doesn't even count vinyl listens, ipod listens or listening to them in my brother's room.

To me, The Stones and VU are the coolest bands. The Fall are the greatest band. But the Joos are my favorite band, and if this news is true, its a damn sad day.

this was weird

2009-01-14T20:07:00.003-05:00

On a day to day basis I go to Rotoworld more times than I do Facebook, Gmail, YouTube and Wikipedia combined. So last night when I awoke from my customary Tuesday evening nap I thought I had to still be dreaming when the headline on the site's home page wasn't about Eddy Curry acting like a member of the Black Lips, but an interview...about fantasy basketball...with Stephen Malkmus.

Of course, there is nothing I love more than basketball, Pavement or fantasy sports so this was huge for me. The one problem I did have was with interviewer Steve Alexander's top ten Malkmus/Pavement list (well, that and SM's team name: "Widespread Perkins," c'mon).

Now, for the sake of making a Pavement oriented list, I'm going to reorganize SA's top ten Pavement/solo SM list. I guess I could make my own top 10 list, but mine seriously changes about every hour (and I probably like "Coolin' by Sound" more than I should admit to people). Here's what Alexander had in his top ten:

10. Gardenia – Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks
9. Spit on a Stranger - Pavement
8. Greenlander - Pavement
7. Pink India – Stephen Malkmus
6. Gold Soundz – Pavement
5. Zurich Is Stained - Pavement
4. Summer Babe - Pavement
3. Box Elder - Pavement
2. Frontwards - Pavement
1. Here – Pavement

Not bad. Could be worse. Obviously "Spit on a Stranger" is a weird choice. Not to mention the hundreds of none Terror Twilight songs that could be on there in it's place, but if you're gonna pick a TT song isn't "Ann Don't Cry" a far superior choice or did Comet Gain just do a pretty rad cover of it?

The same could be said about his solo SM choices, but I guess it's hard to blame him there. If you're interviewing one of your indie rock heroes you probably don't want to make a list that says "hey, basically everything you've done in the last ten years is shit." I guess that's why I don't get to be in fantasy basketball leagues or hold interviews with SM.

Granted, "Pink India" and "Gardenia" are two of the better solo SM songs, but personally I would have gone with either"Mama" or "Post-Paint Boy" in there somewhere if I had to include the solo stuff.

(And if "Blue Arrangements" was even a consideration here shame on him for not having it make the top five.)

Okay, here's my rearanging of SA's list:

10. Spit on a Stranger - Ehh. Getting a better quality version of "For Sale: Preston School of Industry" is about the only reason I'm looking forward to the Terror Twilight reissue.

9. Gardenia – Richard Avedon would surely agree on this placement, but probably not the stupid video.

8. Pink India - A top five solo SM tune, but still light years away from...

7. Greenlander - This one has always sounded like REM doing a relaly slow cover of a Fall song to me. that's a good thing.

6. Here – I'm assuming he's not talking about the Peel Session version. I personally perfer to dress for suck. It's not that I don't love all that "Here" has to offer, but nowadays I usually just skip it and "Two States" to get to "Perfume-V"

5. Zurich Is Stained - Near perfect, but not long enough. I can definitely appreciate the genius of a short song, but this isn't one I can accept as is. BE LONGER!

4. Box Elder - the easiest Pavement song to play on guitar. Whenever I pick up a guitar the opening chords to this one are probably my go to when I don't know what to play.

3. Summer Babe - Okay these top 3 are pretty much untouchable. I have it listed third here, but if I made this list while listening to "every time, every time every time...." I'd consider it my favorite song ever.

2. Frontwards - Watery, Domestic is so perfect that "Frontwards" is the second best song here, but the third best song on the EP.

1. Gold Soundz – I was too young to "be there" for Pavement. But I wasn't too young to own a radio. Well, unless HFS was cooler than I remember it might not have been the radio, but my older sister's room where I was first exposed to Pavement. I remember liking "Cut Your Hair" as a kid, but I remember LOVING "Gold Soundz." I judge people solely on "Gold Soundz" if I pay it for you and you don't like it, it's not that we can't be friends, it's that I hope something reallyterrible happens to you..immediately.

Anyways. I love Pavement. I love fantasy bball. If you feel same do me a favor and please pray for the following:

- a Monta Ellis return this weekend.
- for me to somehow join SM's fantasy bball league...or at least one with Nastanovich or Janet Weiss.

Oh, I thought this was pretty fun to watch

that is all for now

HI!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-07T20:40:00.002-05:00

Faithful Readers,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in like a year or something. Here is something to make up for my absence:

RIP Ron Asheton

2009-01-07T01:52:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was talking to a guy at work who I occasionally talk music with. We each took about an hour and gave a list of some of our favorite guitar players. One of his listed was "Ron Ashton," and I thought to myself "How do you misspell Ron Asheton's name? The man is a legend."

That was yesterday. Today Asheton's still a legend, but maybe more people will start spelling his name correctly.

crustache's top thirty albums of oh eight

2008-12-21T18:54:00.005-05:00

I had started writing out little blurbs for each album but was never going to finish doing them all before the new year rolled around. So here, in an attempt to make my list topical, I've just listed them without blurbs. Believe me though, this was a really good year in music and if something is on this list then it means I really like it. A lot of good albums just barely didn't make the cut. Anyways, enjoy

oh, and just to note, I don't like to include compilations, EPs, etc. on my lists. I try and make it all exclusively albums. Sorry, Mr. Reatard

go wiz. fuck the cavs.

1. US E.z. - Sic Alps
2. Wagonwheel Blues - The War on Drugs
3. Rip it Off - Times New Viking
4. Dig Lazarus Dig! - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
5. Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea - Silver Jews
6. The Points - The Points
7. Primary Colours - Eddy Current Suppression Ring
8. Nouns - No Age
9. Constant Hitmaker - Kurt Vile
10. The Master's Bedroom is Worth Spending a Night In - Thee Oh Sees

11. Posoinous Times - The Old Haunts
12. Microcastle/Weird Era Cont. - Deerhunter
13. Alight at Night - Crystal Stilts
14. Liferz - Blood on the Wall
15. The Muslims - The Muslims
16. Dirt Don't Hurt - Holly Golightly & the Brokeoffs
17. Vivian Girls - Vivian Girls
18. Distortion - The Magnetic Fields
19. Holy - Love as Laughter
20. Hold on Now, Youngster - Los Campesinos!

21. Sick to Death -Eat Skull
22. Brown Submarine - Boston Spaceships
23. Long Gone and Nearly There - Julie Ocean
24. Swimming - French Kicks
25. New Grids - Coming Soon
26. Devotion - Beach House
27. A Hundred Things That Keep Me Up at Night - Love is All
28. You & Me - The Walkmen
29. We Brave Bee Stings and All - Thao Nguyen & the Get Down Stay Down
30. Fabulous Diamonds - Fabulous Diamonds

top ten songs of 2008

2008-12-11T01:20:00.007-05:00

10. "Call & Respond" - Times New Viking
The beginning of this one almost comes on as a tease. You hear the first 20 seconds and you know the rest is gonna be good. They don't let you down. Jared hitting the same note over and over and Beth playing playing a basic, yet hypnotizing, TNV keyboard lick seems simple until Adam's drums kick in and bring a sense of urgency that you rarely find in a TNV song. If they were out to prove something then it worked on me. Of course, I'm a little biased. TNV really do do (doodoo, haha) simple better than any band out today. Listen for yrself here.

9. "Teen Creeps" - No Age

I was a little let down when I saw No Age this past summer. I'm not sure what I was expecting. It's not that they were bad by any means, just not very memorable either. I think it was the scene that annoyed me the most. The way all the BYT reading hipsters that were in the front row talked through the entire High Places set was easily the most annoying thing I experienced at a show this year and it pretty much put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. And, if we're not talking about looks, I don't think I would even qualify as a High Places fan. Anyways, one song I do remember from the No Age set was "Teen Creeps." This one blasted through the speakers with all the intensity of the album version. Getting that kind of sound out of two guys was really amazing to see.

8. "United" - Sic Alps

I mean just look at this kid! he's so damn sad until the music comes on. One of the reasons I like TNV is because they keep putting out music. One of the reasons I LOVE Sic Alps is because they are always putting out music. I'm pretty sure Sic Alps have put our more songs in the in the last year than I've received emails from Obama. Putting out one of the best (if not the best..?) album of the year wasn't enough for Sic Alps. Then they had to put out "United" and completley out do themselves. This is the musical definition of a cherry on top after having maybe the best year of any band in 2008.

7. "Hammer I Miss You" - Jay Reatard

Not even sure if this one came out in '08 of '07. I'm pretty sure it'sform this year, but since I'd like to keep my sanity, I'm not gonna go look up Jay's discography.

"And the boys in the alley ways
All bending at the knees
Trying to find something to fuck
Trying to find something to please"

COME ON! I know, I like that opening verse more than I should.

6. "Volatile" - The Old Haunts

I think this has to be the best opening track of the year. It totally sets the pace for what is an awesome album. If I close my eyes it sounds like an Is This It-era Strokes are being fronted by a White Blood Cells-era Jack White. Except they still have Tobi Vail banging away at the drums / being cooler than you and me in the process.

5. "Hibernation" - Blood on the Wall
I've already talked too much about this one. The scream at the end is easily the year's best.

4. "Suffering Jukebox" - Silver Jews

Lookout Mountain isn't gonna go down as an all-time great Silver Jews album, but "Suffering Jukebox" can hang with the best of them. Besides "Tennessee," it's become my favorite Joos song with prominent Cassie vocals and the opening verse...

"planes on the downtown skyline is a sight to see for some
it ought to make a few reputations in the cult of number one
while these seconds turn these minutes into hours of the day
all these doubles drive the dollars and the light of day away "

and the closing verse...

"well I guess all that mad misery must make it seem to true to you
but money lights your world up, you're trapped what can you do?
you got Tennessee tendencies and chemical dependencies
you make the same old jokes and malaprops on cue"

...sum up why the man is a genius. If "Punks in the Beerlights" wasn't on Tanglewood, I might argue this is the best Joos song since "Slow Education."

3. "Taking The Farm" / "Arms Like Boulders" - The War on Drugs

I couldn't choose just one. Unfortunately "Arms Like Boulders" isn't posted on youtube. But thats okay, right? You already own this phenomenal album, right? Lyrically these songs are fantastic and not to use a hyperbole of saying he's on par with Dylan, but when I listen to War on Drugs I just can't get "Tangled Up In Blue" out of my mind...and that's the biggest compliment I can give someone.

2. "Albert Goes West" - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

The lead guitar on this song is it's unsung hero. Its way in the back of the mix until the 2:30 mark when it bursts out of obscurity. For most the song, if you listen close, it is doing some great things in the background. That's not to take away from the song and it's story. I never really listened to Nick Cave until the Grinderman album and I'm slowly learning that few songwriters tell a story like he does (screenwriters either. Buying The Proposition for $10 at Target has got to be my purchase of the year. It's maybe the best Western I've ever seen). There are a some things that always have my vote approval for a song: hand claps, Bruce Brand and guitars solos that fade out with the song. Of those three this one only has the guitar solo, but that was enough for me.

1. "No Girl" - The Points

Punk rock perfection. I went to see them tonight but left my ID at home and couldn't get in. My biggest snafu of the year.

well damn, mtv

2008-12-10T23:28:00.005-05:00

Seftron just tipped me to this and since she's allergic to posting I thought I'd share it with everyone. I'm too confused about this to even muster up my own words, so I guess I'll just copy and paste from link: MTV's Best Songs of 2008

"32. The Silver Jews, "Party Barge"
A honky-tonk song about a wayward party pontoon, as sung by a nasally poet/cartoonist from Virginia and his wife who used to work in an office park. It opens with a bit of bathroom-wall philosophy ("Father drove a steamroller/ Mama was a crossing guard/ She got rolled when he got steamed/ And I got left in charge"), goes on to mention "Satan's jeweled lobster" and "chicken-fried pigeon," and features more nautical sound effects than any other tune released this decade. There is nothing not to love."

That nasally "poet/cartoonist" has a name...and it's God. But I would have also accepted David Berman. Name dropping works a lot better when you keep the wikipedia page open long enough to actually find out the name that you're dropping.

This guy might be the "hip" writer for MTV or something, but I'm still very much confused that this is on the site of a company that brought you Paris Hilton's New BFF, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila and Limp Bizkit.

Also on the list: Deerhunter, New Age and Kid Rock (baw wit da baw)

a moment of zen

Best Videos of 2008, pt. i

2008-12-04T01:21:00.007-05:00

I think it's safe to say that the "art of the video" is, for the most part, dead. Well, that's almost true. Here are two bands that are doing their best to still keep the visual aspect of music as interesting as ever. Here are some great songs from 2008 that had some great videos to match.

"Hibernation" - Blood on the Wall

I love this song. If Blood on the Wall had made an album of just this song repeated 10x then it would have been my album of the year. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. The rest of the album is only very rad, while "Hibernation" is super rad. My favorite kind of video involves either the Scrotum Poles or just footage of bands hanging out and doing their thing. This one is more of the latter, comprised of footage of BOTW's trip to SXSW in 2007. The highlights include spaghetti cat's cousin and the girl who plugs here ears around the 2:10 mark.

"Wishing Well" - Love is All

To be honest, I'm really disappointed by their new album as a whole, but this video seems as fun as their show at the Black Cat early this past summer. A show that would have been my show of the year had The Joos, Half Japanese and The Homosexuals not come through town this fall/winter. Sorry, Love is All. No medal for you.

At the Black Cat they seemed so happy to be playing with each other and to be playing for such a receptive crowd in the backstage of the Black Cat. I even turned to a friend during the show and said "I wish I was in Love is All! They're having such a great time!" They were honestly nothing but smiles, good vibes and great music (a rarity for a Black Cat show).

I remember that the Breeders were playing down the street that night, so maybe Josephine & co. knew that indie rockers had a choice that night and those of us at the BC had chosen them. That could be the case, but I like to think they always play as great of sets. Go to the Rock and Roll Hotel Saturday night and find out for yourself.

Anyways, the show was great and when they started playing this song live I thought it had gotten even better for a moment because (this was way before the album was released) I thought I was about to be treated to a "Tally Ho" cover. That was the only letdown of that very fun evening. Unfortunately, this is one of the few upsides to their very fun new album.

More 2008 videos too come.

guess who's bizzack

2008-11-25T00:11:00.005-05:00

the "talk to me man," part might be the high point of hip-hop history.

computer fixed, wizards fucked....could there be a more appropriate time for a return of crustache?

quick thoughts and thoughts on possible future thoughts that I think could possibly become posts at some point if i'm actually sincere about this comeback thing:

-I'm gonna miss you, Eddie. You were a class act. I think Wizznutzz put it best when they said just the other day, "Watching Eddie coach last week wuz like watching a dude trapped in a Bergman film having to play Jenga against Death." Is it too early to start the list of coaches that are gonna turn down the opportunity to coach the Wiz next summer? Avery Johnson? Flip Saunders? Jeff Van Gundy? George Karl (after he's fired)? I think it's time we go down to Memphis and get Rod Strickland up here to take over the reins.

-808s & Heartbreak: Kanye, first you sample "Paper Planes," two years after it was already predictable and now you make an album entirely with an auto-tuner two years after America told you T-Pain was fucking annoying. Seriously, wtf is wrong with you?

-The CPU has been broken since Nov. 2nd...can someone tell me what happened with that whole election thingy?

-My Year in Lists, coming soon. To be discussed: the top 25 albums of 2008, the best shows I saw of 2008, my best purchases of the year, best films I've seen this year, my favorite old albums of the year and some other shit.

anyways, we'll be back soon.

more scary white people

2008-10-29T02:36:00.006-04:00

It's like a car accident that I just can't look away from. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't continue posting stuff like this leading up to Election Day. It's a great documentation of the racism, ignorance and overall xenophobia that seems to be so wide spread through out the right wing.

I've always tried to respect other people's beliefs (unlike most of these idiots) but its gotten to the point now that if you're a Republican you are either (a.) too stupid to even waste time with or (b.) an evil, lying, fascist pig. I know that sounds simple, but c'mon, am I wrong? Obviously these people fall into category A, so why waste time on them, right? Well, doesn't it make the last eight years hurt just a little bit less seeing that these people just might hate Obama more than we've hated Bush?

(some) white people scare me

2008-10-26T01:15:00.003-04:00

Seftron Family Reunion 2008

i wish i could like this song more than i already do but i don't think that's possible, part i

2008-10-23T19:09:00.002-04:00

brighest young thang

2008-09-29T17:34:00.006-04:00

I've thrown my fair share of insults their way...but I guess that makes me a hypocrite. Late last week I entered BrightestYoungThing's ticket giveaway for tomorrow night's Stereolab show at the 930 Club...and guess what? your's truly actually won. Last time a white guy was this happy to win something after doing so little his name was Brian Scalibrine.

I've never actually won anything before. First and foremost, I'd like to thank god for making me so darn pretty and then I'd like to thank my parents for passing their rigorous work ethic down to me. I worked hard for this* and no one is gonna take it away from me.

Obviously we'll be getting a heavy dose of Chemical Chords (which I haven't really given a fair listen, to be honest), but here are five Stereolab favorites I'd love to hear tomorrow night (but probably won't).

1. John Cage Bubblegum
2. Crest
3. Low Fi
4. French Disko
5. Lo Boob Oscillator (I don't care. I love every second of it)

Anyways, I'm excited to see these guys for the first time. Thanks you BYT.

*I commented on the giveaway post and was randomly chosen.

Nick & Nora's Infinite Gaylist

2008-09-20T23:40:00.005-04:00

Man, I am getting lazy.

As unfortunate as it is that Michael Cera is a part of this stupid-looking movie, I guess critiquing it's soundtrack still falls under the jurisdiction of my unofficial job title: "Tracker of Michael Cera's Every Move."

So here's what we're gonna do: This soundtrack is...lame. I'm gonna power rank the top five songs on the soundtrack (that should be enough to explain how bad it really is) and then I'm gonna give some alternative suggestions for what an actual hip, young indie rocker would really have on his or her playlists nowadays.

Okay, fuck the power rankings. If you're ever doing power rankings and the numbers 1-3 are from Band of Horses, The Shout Out Louds and We Are Scientists it's probably a good idea to move on to something else. Here's the good stuff you should have on yr playlists (in no order)...

1. "Massive Place" - Sic Alps: If you haven't seen this music video then you are in for a treat (not suitable for children...or Seftron apparently). U.S. Ez is my #1 album of the year right now, which is saying a lot considering how good 2008 has been for new music so far. To be honest, it might be my favorite album since 2005. Sorry, Clipse.

2. "Go For The Exit" - Boston Spaceships: Honestly, the Boston Spaceships might be the best thing Robert Pollard has created since "Chasing Heather Crazy." Maybe I like this album way too much, but I don't care. The man is king. He's worthy of overreacting for. This song actually sounds like something that might be used in a movie. Volume II, perhaps? Saturday night, the 27th, at the Black Cat. Be there or be square. I can't find a video for this song, but here's another song from the album that is also good.

3. "Cheekbone Hollows (Pop. 1/2 Life)" - The Childballads: This isn't exactly new, but its hard to leave the best song of the last two years off a list like this. I had to work until 11:45 tonight so I didn't get to make it down to the Velvet Lounge to see their set. I would be upset about this, but last Thursday night at the Black Cat while leaving the (choose one: awesome, incredible or awesome & incredible) Silver Jews show I saw Stewart Lupton walking down the street and go up to David Berman to say what's up. Now that was cool. That's a lot of crazy genius randomly meeting on one street.

4. "Call & Respond" - Times New Viking: TNV are still my favorite band of the moment. Sic Alps are gaining on them, but for a band in this era to just continue and continue to put out great music for this long of a time period is just plain incredible. This is gonna be the third year in a row they'll have one of my top five albums of the year. And yes, I preordered my copy of the Stay Awake 7" from Matador so that I could get the free poster.

5. "San Francisco BC" - Silver Jews: Have I mentioned that I saw the Silver Jews? In what will easily be considered the best show I attend all year, the only regret I have is that I didn't get to hear this one. (Well this one and most of American Water).

6. "New Wave Hippies" - Psychedelic Horseshit: Well if I'm gonna make a list of songs for what should be on a soundtrack that is trying to highlight the best that indie rock currently has to offer its hard leave off the genius that is this band, right? New Wave Hippies:Revolution::Portals:Hey Jude...in my mind at least.

7. "Crippled Coon" - Crystal Stilts: I like this band cause it sounds like Bobby Gillespie is their drummer. I don't know much about these guys, but I really like their debut EP. A good way to get me to like your band is to mix Jesus and Mary Chain influences with Wedding Present-sensibilities. That's what these guys have done.

8. "Arms Like Boulders" - The War on Drugs: Feel free to change this with "Taking the Farm," but that seems to be the popular choice these days. This one is just good. I want to pinch myself when listening to this song. Is it really possible that a new indie rock songwriter is actual...really good. Lyrically these are some of the best songs I've heard in a few years and it's shaping out to be an easy top five finish for Wagonwheel Blues when I make my year end list.

9. "Volatile" - The Old Haunts: One of the best songs of the year. It's helping to ease the long awaited arrival of a new Oranges Band album with the exact type of "indie rock" guitar playing that I love.

10. "Bottom of the River" - Adam Arcuragi

I don't think this has been released on anything yet...but jeez, this sure needs to be. I just ordered his new 12" from High Two and you should too.

got to get you out of my life (and laptop)

2008-09-11T23:09:00.007-04:00

My computer was running out of space. I had to do something about that immediately. At that moment, though, I had only two options: #1. Delete some music right away or #2. Wait and listen to the Dancing Cigarette's 1980-81: Gulcher Recordings at another time. I chose the former, only a fool wouldn't make time for the Dancing Cigarettes.

Then came my next tough decision. What am I gonna delete to make room? Tough times bring a long tough questions.

Do you really need all these live VU recordings, Sean? Yes.
Do you really need to have every Destroyer album? Yes.
Even Your Blues? Yes.
C'mon, Sean...really? The Big Doe Rehab in it's entirety...including the skits? Fuck off.

Finally, I came across a band that I had a lot of music of that I don't ever need to hear again: The Beatles. Yes, we all love them. But does anyone really need to hear "Something," again? There is nothing more redundant than when someone lists the Beatles as one of their favorite bands. Of course you like the Beatles! Let me guess you like The Simpsons, breathing and sex too?

So I went through my files and folders and deleted about 75% of my Beatles catalog. If I ever have a hankering to listen to "Come Together" I'll just look it up on YouTube, I guess. Thank you, 21st century.

Here is a list of my top 10 favorite Beatles songs. If a certain song isn't listed here then case is I probably (a) deleted the song or (b) accidentally didn't delete the song but should have. You've served me well, boys...but I've lost almost all use for you.

#1. "Mean Mr. Mustard/Polythene Pam/She Came In Through The Bathroom Window"
Greatest medley ever, right? I mean, when I think of the word "medley" Michael McDonald immediately comes to mind (and that ain't a good thing). I listed these three as one because that's what they are. People would argue that all of Abbey Road's Side 2 is a medley, but these are the three that really flow together. You can appreciate the tongue and cheek of "Mustard" by itself, you can love the lo-fi feel of "Polythene Pam" all on its lonesome and of course "Bathroom Window" might be the best thing Paul ever did with or without the other two songs attached. But really, to fully appreciate these songs you have to hear them all together. When I think of the Beatles these three songs are what I think of.

#2. "Hey Bulldog"
I love having arguments about the Beatles. There are so many directions any one person can run in when talking about the albums, the songs, the personalities, etc. They're so ridiculously mythologized and they have such a expansive output of music from such a short time period that you'll never ever find two people who agree on the exact same points when it comes to any aspect of the Fab Four. It's impossible. I've always felt that the Beatles were at their best when the songs had a swing to them. Paul's my favorite Beatle, I'm not ashamed to say that. But when Lennon is on the vocals and reeling away with something as simple as the piano on this one I think it really emphasizes that they weren't just a bunch of clever lads from Liverpool, but a really good rock n' roll band when need be. And the barking at the end? That's gotta be the height of their likability, right?

#3. "Helter Skelter"
I'll never forget the first time I heard this song. I think I even asked my dad if "That was the same guy who sang "Michelle?"" right after he played it for me. The fade out and the fade back in was a pretty awesome thing for my young ears to hear. I can easily say its better than and rocks harder than anything Led Zeppelin ever did. The song is so good Vincent Bugliosi wrote a book about it.

#4. "Back in the USSR"
This one is a great rocker and one of the best opening tracks to any album ever. It's kind of hard to say a Beatles song is underrated because they are the most overrated band of all-time (besides Zeppelin), but still this and "Hey Bulldog" definitely have to be up there on that list. I know its on one of their most popular albums right at the very beginning, but c'mon, do people really understand how incredible this song is? The Beach Boys were considered their rivals at the time (more so than the Stones) and they took the style that the Beach Boys had already commandeered from Chuck Berry and then they go on to do it better than either ever dreamed of doing...damn. It's that kind of blind arrogance that sums up why Paul's my favorite Beatle.

#5. "Paperback Writer"
Just a plain great song. The guitar riff is superb, the lyrics are as interesting as anything Paul has ever written (though that's not saying much) and I've always really loved Ringo's drumming on this track. For a while now I've thought this to be the ideal Beatles song for Times New Viking to cover.

#6. "The Ballad of John and Yoko"
This is the closest the Beatles every came to sounding like the Bingo Trappers (minus the completely self-obsessed lyrics). That's a good thing. It was also recorded by just John and Paul which can be used in the an argument that the Beatles didn't actually need George or Ringo to be a great band. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, but I'm just saying...

#7. "Got To Get You Into My Life"
As corny as it is "I was alone, I took a ride, I didn't know what I would find there" gets me every single time.

#8. "Cry, Baby, Cry"
I think most people would include this one on the list of songs that should have been left off The White Album. There is something very breezy about this track that just kinda pulls me in. I think the lyrics are some of Lennon's most underrated too. You can picture everything he's saying and the music goes perfectly along with it. It's a very Elliott Smith sounding song (which like the Bingo Trappers and "Ballad...") is a good thing.

#9. "She Said She Said"
Maybe this would be the best Beatles song for TNV to cover. I love the guitar through out the entire track, and seconds in you realize its gonna be a great song just because of George's opening lick. Rubber Soul is great, not because the Beatles started to experiment a little, but because its when Lennon's woman-hating lyrics really hit full stride and I don't think you have to be sexist to admit that women/men hating lyrics can sometimes make for a great song.

#10. "Mother Nature's Son"
Another breezy White Album song that most people would see as one of the "problems" with The White Album. But I don't care, I can't help but love it. Most other acoustic Paul songs make me want to kill myself (see: "Blackbird") but I completely adore every second of this song.

close calls:
"Bad Boy"
"I Am The Walrus"
"Baby You're A Rich Man"
"I'm So Tired"
"Dear Prudence"
"Rain"

besides that, I never need to hear the Beatles again.

stones > beatles. 4 eva.

marie: the flame of florida

2008-09-06T00:56:00.007-04:00

That's the closest thing to a Times New Viking song title uttered at the RNC this week.

Guess what? The Joos are coming to town this week. I think that warrants a post, right? With the Democratic and Republican conventions now over, I'm left with quite a few questions...

1. Is Bristol Palin's boyfriend the most unintentionally funny person in history? Dude was chewing gum...ON STAGE!

2. well...

that's actually the only question I have. I swear it, the guy is funnier than I Want To Work For Diddy.

Anyways, like i said, the Joos are coming. Their first ever show in the nation's capital can only be celebrated in one way (that doesn't involve liquor or thc) and that's by naming the top five Silver Jews songs that would work well as official campaign songs...and the top five that would work terribly as official campaign songs. In no particular order, here we go...

THE GOOD
1. "Smith and Jones Forever" - If only it was Barrack Smith and Joe Jones. Great questions are brought up in this song and I'd like to hear McCain's answers to them. "Are you honest when no one's looking. Can you summon honey from a telephone?" I'm pretty sure he'd answer no to both, and if he can do the latter I really hope they're not saving that tidbit for late October. Borderline Democrats love honey. "Holding up your trousers with extension chords." is a line that addresses poverty/the economy 100% more often than anyone did at the RNC this week.

2. "Strange Victory, Strange Defeat" - I'm convinced that if Crustache HOF member Dennis Kucinich had actually gotten the nomination this would be his campaign's theme. I don't think anyone can doubt that this would have sounded great blasted through the speakers of Invesco Field. This song reminds me of Bob Seger for some strange reason. That's one of my few knocks against LM, LS.

3. "Rebel Jew" - If only Joe Lieberman wasn't such a fucking sellout. Not that he was ever cool, but for christ's sake, man...this could have been all you. I started singing this when he came out for his speech the other night and a girl said to me "Sean, behave yourself."

4. "The Poor, The Fair, The Good" - Not so much the lyrics, but this song title sounds more like a bumper sticker than anything else in the Berman's catalog (not counting "soi disantra"). I guess "don't lay the groundwork for the case of remorse" would be a pretty damn poetic thing to say to a political opponent. That's not change, that's more of the same. Berman > Barrack.

5. "The Sabellion Rebellion" - Such confidence. It's not "here comes the Sabellion Rebellion" or "come aboard the Sabellion Rebellion." Nope, it's "Welcome to the Sabellion Rebellion." It's all going down and there is nothing you can do to stop it. The confidence and swagger of this one has shades of Gilbert via '06. The only thing that could make this a better campaign song is: Obama & Nico '08. Most good things end with "& Nico"

Bonus: "Night Society" - Few songs are more badass than this one. To walk on stage to this would almost guarantee victory.

THE BAD
1. "Canada" - This is what all of us liberals will be singing if McCain is elected. Please America, let's not fuck this up. I'm one of the poor people that Barrack is talking about. I can't afford to move to Canada. This song is as close as I'll get in the coming four years.

2. "Let's Not and Say We Did" - This would be the equivalent to when Homer was about to fight Dredrick Tatum and his intro song while walking to the ring was "Why Can't We Be Friends" by WAR.

3. "We Could Be Looking For The Same Thing" - Almost as bad as "Let's Not and Say We Did." But I guess this one actually works. Apparently McCain is running on "change" too. Does that mean they're voting for Obama too or are they just as stupid as we all think?

4. "Random Rules" - There is no guidance when random rules. It's true...but in two more months everything will Democratic and cool...hopefully.

5. "What Is Not But Could Be If" - Because this sounds like a sentence Al Gore might say and we all know how that turned out for us.

Bonus: "Punks in the Beerlight" - I just wanted to mention the Joos best song and how they BETTER PLAY IT WEDNESDAY...This should be fun.

sean's thesis

2008-08-20T22:46:00.001-04:00

omg sean made this for his masters thesis at devry university! he didn't want me to show you because he is modest, but i am so proud of him!

Kodachrome Lyrics

hibernation?

2008-08-13T20:05:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the complete and utter lack of effort on our part recently (Have I really not been doing Project Runway power rankings?). The plan at the moment is to rest up for the remainder of the summer and then come back in full force this Fall.

Just so yr up to date on the where abouts and what haves of your favorite interweb journalists, here's the scoop:

Seftronics: When not busy having not-so-secret affairs with John Edwards, Seftron has been out on tour makin them dollars ($$$) opening up for the Jonas Brothas. I got your postcard, Seftron. In case you didn't get my responding letter, my answers were "yes, yes, no and The Audacity of Hoes."

that's fucked up, seftron.

sc: So far this summer I've been handcuffed just as many times as I've seen Pineapple Express...once. I better move up another notch in one of those totals by this time next week or I'm labeling Summer '08 a bust.

Anyways, Autumn '08. Be here or be square.

until then, its all about hibernation...

Do you like my Nasti Muzik?

2008-07-10T18:35:00.010-04:00

After leaving Sean voicemail messages of every single skit on Nasti Muzik (my favorite being one in which Thug Misses instructs young women to "bitch get that dick and go go go") I've been told that I need to "back off Khia." But whatever, I don't think he understands women like Khia and I and since he's been calling me Lemmy despite repeated requests to stop, I'm going to share this with you:

(I can't make it fit, so PLEASE CLICK TO ENLARGE IT!!!!!!!!!)

This is really really really good news because I've been rooting for a Khia/Kottke collaboration for a while now. What I wouldn't give to hear LK sing about pussy lip maintenance and putting all you hoes to sleep. Also, I'm pretty sure Sean's mom is responsible for this.

songs of the week, jibberish & agent zero

2008-07-04T01:45:00.008-04:00

I've now been a vegetarian for 13 days. Here are four things I've learned:

#1. Those tiny little pepperonis on Pizza Bagels really are what make them so damn tasty.

#2. Noodles & Company is good once a week, okay twice a week and just plain "broodle" three times a week.

#3. I'm on vacation from work and have yet to accomplish anything other than watching seasons 4, 5 & 6 of The Simpsons AND THEN re-watching them all with the commentary tracks on. This has nothing to do with being a vegetarian other than the fact that David Mirkin won't shut the fuck up about being one himself. He directed this movie. Let's hope I do a little better.

Here's a power ranking of the top five most likable Simpsons writers based solely on their commentary appearances:

1. Josh Weinstein
2. Greg Daniels
3. David (X.) Cohen
4. Bill Oakley
5. Matt Groening

#4. Mushrooms make you fart about as much as, if not more than, any type of meat. On Tuesday night I had a meal that featured quite a lot of mushrooms in it. I went to my friends house immediately afterwards and the following conversation is not made up...

Friend: Trying to get something to eat?
Me: No, I'm good. I just ate a bunch of mushrooms
Friend: (pause) Really?
Me: Yeah, man.
Friend: (pause) Well, you're showing a lot of composure. I'd be tripping out a lot more if I was you.

...and now (if anyone made it past the "mushrooms make you fart" segment). Here are my songs of the week...

"Tightrope Walker" - The Reflections
It took a beautiful video, of a beautiful band, featuring a beautiful keyboard player doing a beautiful dance to remind me how much I like this song. From what I gather, Mark Perry's Reflections didn't last as long as his Alternative TV band did/has(?), but regardless, Slugs & Toads is not to be missed out on. I can't seem to find an Mp3 of the song anywhere online, but it is available on itunes and on the Cherry Red Records website. I highly recommend you buy it and play it over and over and over again at any 4th of July parties you may be throwing/DJing/crashing. If you dig the TVPs, The Homosexuals or any of the Messthetics comps then you are sure to enjoy the foot tapping good time this song will bring you and your family.

"Let's Get Funky" - Hound Dog Taylor & the Houserockers
Another one I can't find anywhere online. This might be my favorite song ever. Not only is this foot tapping, nitty gritty blues at its best, but it showcases just how likable of a performer Hound Dog really most have been. I was lucky enough to have a (kinda) cool Dad who listened to stuff like this while I was growing up. He is the same man who insists Dirty Work is an underrated gem, but he more than makes up for that obvious flaw in character by being the guy who introduced me to this Hound Dog Taylor album. Taylor's live album Beware of the Dog (1974) is a house rocking, no holds bar blues album that will most likely never be duplicated again. The band consists of a drummer, a guitar player playing bass lines on his telecaster and Hound Dog wailing away on this beauty while not sounding unlike an equally intoxicated, black Mark E. Smith. I wasn't gonna go as far as to say that he/the album was underrated but this is what the Beware of the Dog link brings you to from Taylor's wikipedia page. Fans of the Fall, Times New Viking or the Dirtbombs/Gories should love this stuff. Dude sums up everything great about blues, rock n' roll and the Messthetics spirit.

"Suffering Jukebox" - Silver Jews
What? I haven't even mentioned Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea yet? I think its definitely a grower. That's not a dis. I already love it, but I have a good feeling that ten years down the road I'm gonna enjoy it even more. While most of the indie rock world seems split down the middle on whether they "pump it or dump it," I, for one, am already making plans to see Berman and co. in Boston, North Hampton (what up, seftron/fuck you, lou barlow), New York (x2), Philly and, of course, DC.

It becomes obvious after just one or two listens that "Suffering Jukebox," is the album's real prize. The "Tennesee tendencies" and "cult of number one" lines have already made their way into the David Berman history books as top notch one-liners. Other highlights from LM, LS include the Dylanesque "San Fransisco BC" and the indie rock song most likely to be used by a motivational speaker this year, "Strange Victory, Strange Defeat" (well, at the least the chorus). I recommend ordering the LP from Drag City. It comes with free guitar chords!!!1.

If this isn't enough Berman/Joos talk for you, I recommend you go here, here or here. I highly recommend the latter, but only if you comment about how the author chose three Natural Bridge songs for his hypothetical Silver Jews greatest hits, while only putting two American Water tracks on the list. FOR SHAME!

...anyways...

OH YEAH!

that's right, Gil. We can all sleep a little better now.

Bitch I Been The Shit Since Highschool Bitch

2008-07-01T23:11:00.008-04:00

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST
NASTI MUZIK HAS LEAKED!!!!

It is, in the words of Thug Misses and Crustache patron saint Khia, pussy poppin'!

If you're looking for Sean I think he's probably shaking "[his] body straight down to the floor" and making "[his] ass talk extra loud."

so tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for you

2008-06-28T00:13:00.010-04:00

I'm tired of waiting for you people. I want to give you money. I want to buy yr albums. I want to buy yr tickets. Put out some new music so I can help pay your rent.

Here are the six groups I'm most excited to hear some new music from...

1. Broadcast
Tender Buttons was a 2005 release. An early 2005 release. We're now more than half way through 2008 and all we've heard from them since is the 2006 bsides/rarities compalation The Future Crayon. At this point I'm not really even concerned with whether or not the album is any good. I just want another one of their aesthetically pleasing album covers to look at. A song or two half as good "Corporeal" or "American Boy" would also suffice.

2. The Oranges Band*
Rumor has it there is a new one coming right around the corner and its about time. The World and Everything In It came out in 2005. With the complete lack of great guitar driven indie rock bands making records these days, it is vital that the band that graced us with two of the best songs this decade ("OK Apartment" and "Success") bring us something new very soon

*Update: The Oranges Band are opening up for Love as Laughter (who'd be on this list had Holy not come out last Tuesday) at the Black Cat on July 17th. I'm sure they will play us some new tunes.

3. The Childballads
I would listen to a tape of Stewart Lupton snoring. So far the Childballads have given us one ridiculously good EP (Cheekbone Hollows) and one other questionable song that one day just showed up on their myspace page. I got the EP back when it was import only in early '07 and i've been lucky enough to have a few different versions of "Cheekbone Hollows" the song in my possession since about early '05. So after three years of excitement, we've been given 7 songs. I've heard all the different rumors coming out of the Childballads camp, but I still can't get over them making such a great EP and then being expected to have low expectations for the group. This will have to hold me over:

4. Graham Smith
Another 2005 wonder. Final Battle was as good, if not better, than what you would have expected from the man behind Kleenex Girl Wonder. "The Nondescript" has some of the best one liners this side of Ghostface and "Master" is one of the best tell off songs of the last few years. I remember hearing that he was releasing songs on his blog or something like that, but I'm too lazy to keep up with something like that, even if it does involve a favorite songwriter of mine. Whether Final Battle was indeed the final battle has yet to be seen, but i'd really prefer it if Graham would just release the inner Bob Pollard we all know he has in him and just lay it all on us.

5. Clipse
Rarely in music does a reign at the top last very long. For the last two years Clipse have been, without a doubt, light years ahead of anyone else in hip-hop artistically, lyrically and stylistically (see: "Mr. Me Too"). Unfortunately, anyone that's heard We Got It For Cheap, Vol. III knows that their time a top could very well be up. I have a major problem with treating bands like sport teams that I'm a fan of. I become very loyal and I treat them as if they can do no wrong. Since I've been a huge Clipse fan since first hearing "Grindin'," I've been enjoying very much their mixtape dominance and then, of course, their masterpiece Hell Hath No Fury. They have a real album coming out with the Re-up Gang in August and a follow up to HHNF coming this fall. If they have actually fallen off its really gonna be a sad, sad day for hip-hop...I hate Lil' Wayne.

6. The Strokes
yeah, i still have hope. remember this...

best. late. night. music. performance. ever.

Sorry for 2004

2008-06-21T02:51:00.006-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't been keeping Crustache strong. I've just been really busy....

Busy with this:

Try not to be too jealous (especially you, sean, i'm considering uploading it for you if you ever get your internet back and start BEING NICE TO ME AND NEVER CALL ME A 'FUCKING ASSHOLE' EVER AGAIN).

i'm in a hurry and i don't know what to title this

2008-06-18T18:12:00.004-04:00

I was looking for the Os Mutantes McDonald's commercial, but apparently that one hasn't made its way to youtube quite yet. It's not that Os Mutantes doesn't deserve a little dough for the large amount of ridiculously great music they created and made absolutely no money off of in the late 60's/early 70's, but McDonald's? Really? I'd expect something like from Gilberto Gil, but not you Mutantes. Couldn't they have been in a Subway commercial? I'm very disappointed.

This LCD/GTA commercial isn't quite as bad. Nico Bellic is actually behaving quite innocuously in the commercial, which I guess was the point. In terms of good bands featuring their music in commercials this one ranks way above Spoon's (and Wilco's) (and the Falls) ventures into car commercials. Its almost as cool as Smog's, but the main difference maker is that Bob Dylan isn't in GTA. If he was I don't think I would ever leave the house. But of course I'm bias because since GTA IV's release date, I have personally killed 736 prostitutes and at least 238 cab drivers.

still no internet...

thanks for keeping the log alive, seftron...

you fucking asshole

**Crustache**