Oct 28, 2007
"Maggie's Farm" - Stephen Malkmus & the Million Dollar Bashers
We're a polytheistic blog. We have about 5 gods: SM, Dylan, Bejar, Berman and Ghostface. So unless Ghost does a cover of "3000 Flowers" or "How Can I Love You (If You Won't Lie Down" sometime soon then this is as cool as it's gonna get around these parts.
Granted, this isn't the greatest Dylan cover, but it definitely doesn't suck. SM sounds like he isn't quite giving his all vocally. A little more soul wouldn't hurt. But what the song lacks in vocals it makes up for musically. Here's some of the members of this band: Lee Ranaldo, Mike Shelly, Nels Cline and Tom Verlaine. I don't know who all plays on this exact song, but hypothetically speaking, that's Pavement, the Joos, Sonic Youth, Wilco and Television all represented on one song. If you don't understand how cool that is then please go kill yourself.
The dueling guitars during the the fantastic ending really sound like 1966 to me. Of course I wasn't there in '66, but when I think of that year this is what it sounds like to me. Anyways, I think Robbie Robertson and Mike Bloomfield would be proud. On top of all that, this song has made me think the unthinkable: John Medeski kinda rocks. If a song can do that then it must be pretty good.
I haven't heard "Ballad of a Thin Man" or any of the other songs SM has done for the I'm Not Here soundtrack, but this has me excited.
Oct 24, 2007
Disappointments of '07
It's almost November, so everyone is getting their "Best of" lists ready. I'm still considering having LCD Spoonsystem as my #1. But what has really bothered me this year is that many of my favorite artists have...sucked. Anyone that knows me knows my complete and utter disappointment with the new Devendra disc, so I'll leave him alone here. Here are some of the others that have succeeded in breaking my heart this year.
Sky Blue Sky - Wilco
Unlike everyone else in the entire world, I really dug A Ghost is Born. "Handshake Drugs" and "Company in my Back" are two of my favorite Wilco songs ever. Which, of course, is saying quite a bit considering Wilco is one of my favorite bands ever ever ever. But then came Sky Blue Sky. Guess what? All those new songs that sucked when I saw them play live in 2006 ended up sucking even more on record. People have used the excuse that it was their first time making an album with this band, but that's complete bullshit. Wilco has never made an album with the same band twice in a row. Tweedy always fires someone. As for the music itself...zzzzz...oh sorry it just put me to sleep. The best lyric on the album is "If you feel like singing a song and you want other people to sing a long, just sing what you feel don't let anyone say it's wrong." Hey Jeff, you're wrong. With that said, had Summerteeth or Being There been released in 2007 either one would easily be my #1 album of the year. Let's hope SBS really was just a practice run.
Friend Opportunity - Deerhoof
I went through a big Deerhoof phase right before this album was released which inevitably added to the let down. Their previous few albums are great and their Peel Sessions are fantastic. I think John Dieterich is an awesome guitar player and blah blah blah, but this album is almost impossible to listen to. It's obviously their attempt to gain a bigger audience, but I'm not quite sure what audience their shooting for. Crack smoking toddlers? because that's what this album sounds like it was made for. Times New Viking made the album Deerhoof should have tried to make. The good thing about Deerhoof is they pump out albums about as often as Josh Beckett pumps out K's, so we won't have to wait long to see if they redeem themselves.
Challengers - New Pornographers
Bland is a word that comes to mind. I get to listen to this at work so that might have something to do with me hating it. Also, I don't like...Neko Case. Is that allowed to be said? I'm the only person I know who can't stand the girl ("Train from Kansas City" aside). I think it's a redhead thing. My bitchy mom and sister have made me automatically annoyed by every redheaded woman I ever meet. Anyways, the songs just aren't that good. These guys (and gals) have managed to get less and less interesting with every release since the incredible Mass Romantic. The best songs are Bejar's, of course. It's pretty cool to be at work and selling Michael Buble CDs to yuppies while Bejar sings over the entire music section "Your money or your life? Your money or your life. I was sick of America and her screaming decay." Bejar is fuckin awesome, by the way. I'm gonna make a shirt that says Bejar in 2008! or Bejar/Berman '08.
T.I. vs T.I.P - T.I.
King was the 4th best hip-hop album released last year. That's an incredible feat considering, album wise, 2006 was one of the greatest hip-hop years ever. Only Ghostface, Clipse and Lupe had better albums. Plus the Ghostface and Clipse albums are two of the best of the decade, so no one else really had a chance. T.I. has some major swagger. Some serious Gilbert Arenas-type swagger. Besides OutKast and UGK, T.I. is the only southern rapper I can listen to on the regular. Unfortunately, this album possesses the stupidest concept ever. Business Man vs. Thug. The production is, as they as on the streets, wack. Plus, coming out just under a year since his last release, obviously, a rushed effort. If T.I. isn't going to jail for the charge of being a complete dumbass, then I expect his next album to put him back on the southern rap throne.
Woke on a Whaleheart - Bill Callahan
I, like a lot of young dudes, dream of one day making an album as good as Knock Knock while dating Cat Power. Billy boy has lived the dream (also, the guy always has nice haircuts). Unfortunately, he is now Billy Callahan, and no longer Smog. Smog was a badass, a lover, a hater, a poet without a cause. On the other hand, Callahan is kind of boring. I think what turns me off the most is the production. I hate when things are so clean. The lyrics don't make me think to myself "Bill Callahan is one of music's best living songwriters," like Smog has made me think a million times before. Maybe we can use the Wilco excuse and say they album is below par "because it's the first time he's used this (name)." Anyways, like Tweedy, dude is getting old and you wouldn't be at fault to think this could possibly be the end of the line for Billy Boy. Let's just hope it isn't. Also, please dump Joanna Newsom. We don't like her here.
Sky Blue Sky - Wilco
Unlike everyone else in the entire world, I really dug A Ghost is Born. "Handshake Drugs" and "Company in my Back" are two of my favorite Wilco songs ever. Which, of course, is saying quite a bit considering Wilco is one of my favorite bands ever ever ever. But then came Sky Blue Sky. Guess what? All those new songs that sucked when I saw them play live in 2006 ended up sucking even more on record. People have used the excuse that it was their first time making an album with this band, but that's complete bullshit. Wilco has never made an album with the same band twice in a row. Tweedy always fires someone. As for the music itself...zzzzz...oh sorry it just put me to sleep. The best lyric on the album is "If you feel like singing a song and you want other people to sing a long, just sing what you feel don't let anyone say it's wrong." Hey Jeff, you're wrong. With that said, had Summerteeth or Being There been released in 2007 either one would easily be my #1 album of the year. Let's hope SBS really was just a practice run.
Friend Opportunity - Deerhoof
I went through a big Deerhoof phase right before this album was released which inevitably added to the let down. Their previous few albums are great and their Peel Sessions are fantastic. I think John Dieterich is an awesome guitar player and blah blah blah, but this album is almost impossible to listen to. It's obviously their attempt to gain a bigger audience, but I'm not quite sure what audience their shooting for. Crack smoking toddlers? because that's what this album sounds like it was made for. Times New Viking made the album Deerhoof should have tried to make. The good thing about Deerhoof is they pump out albums about as often as Josh Beckett pumps out K's, so we won't have to wait long to see if they redeem themselves.
Challengers - New Pornographers
Bland is a word that comes to mind. I get to listen to this at work so that might have something to do with me hating it. Also, I don't like...Neko Case. Is that allowed to be said? I'm the only person I know who can't stand the girl ("Train from Kansas City" aside). I think it's a redhead thing. My bitchy mom and sister have made me automatically annoyed by every redheaded woman I ever meet. Anyways, the songs just aren't that good. These guys (and gals) have managed to get less and less interesting with every release since the incredible Mass Romantic. The best songs are Bejar's, of course. It's pretty cool to be at work and selling Michael Buble CDs to yuppies while Bejar sings over the entire music section "Your money or your life? Your money or your life. I was sick of America and her screaming decay." Bejar is fuckin awesome, by the way. I'm gonna make a shirt that says Bejar in 2008! or Bejar/Berman '08.
T.I. vs T.I.P - T.I.
King was the 4th best hip-hop album released last year. That's an incredible feat considering, album wise, 2006 was one of the greatest hip-hop years ever. Only Ghostface, Clipse and Lupe had better albums. Plus the Ghostface and Clipse albums are two of the best of the decade, so no one else really had a chance. T.I. has some major swagger. Some serious Gilbert Arenas-type swagger. Besides OutKast and UGK, T.I. is the only southern rapper I can listen to on the regular. Unfortunately, this album possesses the stupidest concept ever. Business Man vs. Thug. The production is, as they as on the streets, wack. Plus, coming out just under a year since his last release, obviously, a rushed effort. If T.I. isn't going to jail for the charge of being a complete dumbass, then I expect his next album to put him back on the southern rap throne.
Woke on a Whaleheart - Bill Callahan
I, like a lot of young dudes, dream of one day making an album as good as Knock Knock while dating Cat Power. Billy boy has lived the dream (also, the guy always has nice haircuts). Unfortunately, he is now Billy Callahan, and no longer Smog. Smog was a badass, a lover, a hater, a poet without a cause. On the other hand, Callahan is kind of boring. I think what turns me off the most is the production. I hate when things are so clean. The lyrics don't make me think to myself "Bill Callahan is one of music's best living songwriters," like Smog has made me think a million times before. Maybe we can use the Wilco excuse and say they album is below par "because it's the first time he's used this (name)." Anyways, like Tweedy, dude is getting old and you wouldn't be at fault to think this could possibly be the end of the line for Billy Boy. Let's just hope it isn't. Also, please dump Joanna Newsom. We don't like her here.
Oct 20, 2007
Video of the Week
yes, that was our boy Devendra. I don't know if you can tell or not, but those two bodies being dragged away are me and Seftron. The scene was shot moments after we had to listen to Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon
Similar to the hills having eyes, Crustache has ears, but his new album kinda makes me wish we didn't. At least "Insect Eyes" is a classic. We expect better from you Devendra.
Oct 16, 2007
Obsessive Listening: October 2007
"Bewitched" - Beat Happening
This is the new opening song for the MLR Running Love Protocols mixtape. Not only did I choose this song for the obvious reason of having a crush on her, but also for that guitar riff. If attitudes were guitar riffs this guitar riff is the attitude I'd have when MLR comes to the realization that she's madly in love with me. It's a "you love me and you know it" riff in the most badass sense that description can have. Here's a cover version by some kids if you wanna hear the guitar riff and see some really bad stage presence.
"Velocity Girl" - Primal Scream
Another song off the MLR mixtape. I thought about using this as the opener, but that seemed a little corny. I dunno, I think MLR would dig this song...and well, if she didn't it would be a serious blow to her and my relationship. This might be my favorite song of the 80's that isn't by the Fall, REM or...Eric B. and Rakim. It's also a very depressing song. All I can think about when hearing this song is how Primal Scream went so shit after making something so perfect. On my "Everyday People" scale this songs gets at least a 9.7.
"Look Me Up" - Georgie James
One the contenders for Crustache song of the year. Alright, it probably won't be number 1, but it will have a sold place in our top 20 list. Every time this song comes on while my itunes are on shuffle I think it's a Ponys song I haven't heard before. Then when the song kicks in I can't stop stop tapping my fingers and toes to the beat. The melodies are some of the best I've heard in a while, but it's the drums and percussion that really take over on this song. I wish I knew how to mic cymbals that well. It's great. Go buy Places if you wanna hear one of the best albums of the year. Here's them doing it live at the Black Cat on the summer of 2006
"Tender Buttons" - Broadcast
Realistically, this might be my favorite song ever that doesn't have SM or Keith Richards playing on it. I don't even know where to begin to explain how cool this song is. As a child, I was pretty lucky when it came to music. My dad liked really cool blues and soul, and, of course, the Stones. At the same time unfortunately, He tried to if the make me believe that any type of electronic music was evil and not to be trusted (and would, if the chance arose, pillage the town and rape it's women). He's walked into me and my brother's rooms before while we were listening to this or Stereolab or something similar and he then never fails to say something along the lines of "Turn that Nazi disco shit off," and then proceeds to to hit the CD player until the music stops. Anyways, where I'm getting at is that its taken me longer than most to listen to anything that wasn't dripping with the influence of The Stones, mostly because I wasn't allowed to as a child. I've overcome that problem now and seriously believe that Broadcast is the best band in the world at this very moment* and they haven't even put out an album in two years. That's what I call a lasting impression. Video.
"Girl Watcher" - The O'Kaysions
I have a really sad life. In between class and work I sit in my car and listen to the John Thompson radio show. He's a pretty cool dude it turns out. All these years he just seemed like an asshole and being the Terps fan that I am I was content with him being an asshole. Anyways, this song was playing while they came back from a break today and I just thought it was great. Like a dork, I called the station to see who it was by. Apparently this was a big hit in 1968. I had no idea. It's one hell of an awesome/dorky song that the title sums up completely. I could totally see the Black Lips or someone covering this. It's what the kids call a "club banga." This should be video of the week.
Also getting heavy air play here in Crustache land:
Len Bright Combo
Eccentric Soul: Prix Label
Wilson Pickett
The Kinks
*I'll let Broadcast hold the Crustache title of Best Band in the World temporarily. There'll probably be a title change once more info on SJ6 hits the public.
This is the new opening song for the MLR Running Love Protocols mixtape. Not only did I choose this song for the obvious reason of having a crush on her, but also for that guitar riff. If attitudes were guitar riffs this guitar riff is the attitude I'd have when MLR comes to the realization that she's madly in love with me. It's a "you love me and you know it" riff in the most badass sense that description can have. Here's a cover version by some kids if you wanna hear the guitar riff and see some really bad stage presence.
"Velocity Girl" - Primal Scream
Another song off the MLR mixtape. I thought about using this as the opener, but that seemed a little corny. I dunno, I think MLR would dig this song...and well, if she didn't it would be a serious blow to her and my relationship. This might be my favorite song of the 80's that isn't by the Fall, REM or...Eric B. and Rakim. It's also a very depressing song. All I can think about when hearing this song is how Primal Scream went so shit after making something so perfect. On my "Everyday People" scale this songs gets at least a 9.7.
"Look Me Up" - Georgie James
One the contenders for Crustache song of the year. Alright, it probably won't be number 1, but it will have a sold place in our top 20 list. Every time this song comes on while my itunes are on shuffle I think it's a Ponys song I haven't heard before. Then when the song kicks in I can't stop stop tapping my fingers and toes to the beat. The melodies are some of the best I've heard in a while, but it's the drums and percussion that really take over on this song. I wish I knew how to mic cymbals that well. It's great. Go buy Places if you wanna hear one of the best albums of the year. Here's them doing it live at the Black Cat on the summer of 2006
"Tender Buttons" - Broadcast
Realistically, this might be my favorite song ever that doesn't have SM or Keith Richards playing on it. I don't even know where to begin to explain how cool this song is. As a child, I was pretty lucky when it came to music. My dad liked really cool blues and soul, and, of course, the Stones. At the same time unfortunately, He tried to if the make me believe that any type of electronic music was evil and not to be trusted (and would, if the chance arose, pillage the town and rape it's women). He's walked into me and my brother's rooms before while we were listening to this or Stereolab or something similar and he then never fails to say something along the lines of "Turn that Nazi disco shit off," and then proceeds to to hit the CD player until the music stops. Anyways, where I'm getting at is that its taken me longer than most to listen to anything that wasn't dripping with the influence of The Stones, mostly because I wasn't allowed to as a child. I've overcome that problem now and seriously believe that Broadcast is the best band in the world at this very moment* and they haven't even put out an album in two years. That's what I call a lasting impression. Video.
"Girl Watcher" - The O'Kaysions
I have a really sad life. In between class and work I sit in my car and listen to the John Thompson radio show. He's a pretty cool dude it turns out. All these years he just seemed like an asshole and being the Terps fan that I am I was content with him being an asshole. Anyways, this song was playing while they came back from a break today and I just thought it was great. Like a dork, I called the station to see who it was by. Apparently this was a big hit in 1968. I had no idea. It's one hell of an awesome/dorky song that the title sums up completely. I could totally see the Black Lips or someone covering this. It's what the kids call a "club banga." This should be video of the week.
Also getting heavy air play here in Crustache land:
Len Bright Combo
Eccentric Soul: Prix Label
Wilson Pickett
The Kinks
*I'll let Broadcast hold the Crustache title of Best Band in the World temporarily. There'll probably be a title change once more info on SJ6 hits the public.
Oct 15, 2007
New Release Tuesday: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
The Good:
Standard Gargoyle Decisions - Robert Pollard
I like about three solo Pollard songs. Okay, maybe a few more, but still a lot more than most GBV-obsessives would say they liked if they were truly honest with themselves. But regardless, I refuse to put this genius anywhere other than in "The Good." Like always, Pollard doesn't disappoint with the album art. Okay, I actually just listened to the opening track "The Killers" and it sounded great and way better than anything involved with the band who shares the song's name. It also has hand claps, which, of course, are the hallmark of musical genius.
Rare & Unreleased Recordings from the Golden Reign of the Queen of Soul - Aretha Franklin
Well, that's one hell of a title. I mean, I'm by no means an Aretha fan, but this could be something cool. If I was ever to buy an Aretha CD this might be the one I'd get. Homegirl could sing and she had great bands behind her during her "golden reign," so that could possibly make up for the fact that her tunes come off as ridiculously boring in comparison to everything Stax and Motown.
Live - R.E.M.
Though lacking in the early classics category (what? no "1,000,000"?!?!), this 2CD/1DVD set could be cool. I'd rather listen to (early) REM than anything by any of the other stereotypical bands that old white people tend to love. They're way better than U2 and a million times better than the Police or Springsteen. Seriously, old white people love The Boss the same way T.I. loves machines guns. If you're gonna buy this then fine, do it, you just better already own Murmur and Reckoning.
The Bad:
A Mighty Heart
I think this has Angelina Jolie in it. I think we can all agree that's enough to make it bad. Let's see what IMDb has to say about it...Oh okay, this is about Daniel Pearl or something. I guess I won't crack jokes then. This doesn't change my opinion about Jolie though. She is stupid and so are her kids. I don't know why anyone would wanna buy this.
Hendrix @ Monterey
Yeah, it's great. He burns the guitar...yay...! But why would anyone wanna watch anything Monterey related if it isn't gonna feature Otis Redding's performance? I realize most people who love Hendrix don't give a fuck about Otis Redding. That's fine. People are stupid and I've been accepting of this for a long time, but not having Redding's performance on this DVD is like watching the movie Jaws but changing the channel every time the shark's motif starts to play (Or listening to Only Built 4 Cuban Linx but putting the stereo on mute every time Ghostface starts to rap).
The Jazz Singer
I'm way too young to even have an opinion on this.
The Ugly:
Planet Terror
Continuing in the footsteps of Death Proof, Planet Terror is getting it's bullshit DVD release tomorrow. How could they not release the two films together? This is seriously one of the greater injustices that has occurred in my lifetime. Not only are the movies not combined into one package, BUT they don't even have the fake trailers as bonus material on either. I seriously do not understand the logic here. Boycott this until they do right by their fans.
Transformers
Seftron may love him (I don't know) but I can't stand Shia Labeouf. I didn't watch Transformers as a kid, so maybe that explains why I didn't want to see this at all compared to all my guy friends (who all went to see it on the day it was released). There was also the fact that I saw LaBeouf wearing that Strokes baseball tee five times in that one commercial for the film. It was the same Strokes baseball tee that I wore for a good amount of my freshmen year of high school, and I don't really wanna have anything at all in common with this kid. Plus there was the Tyrese factor. This is an ugo. Nice crustache, douche ("word").
Ultimate Santana - Santana
One of the better acts at Woodstock, in the past 40 years Santana has become maybe the most annoying "band" in the world. Sure, reap the benefits and make some money, Carlos. That's cool. I don't care, but if you're gonna do it could you not have Rob Thomas in your songs? I dunno. Again, why would someone buy this? Just get their debut album if anything.
Reason EP - The Fray
Now this is a passing of the torch if I've ever seen one. The only question that can be asked is if it's the greatest EP since Watery, Domestic or is it the greatest EP since Soft Effects? You decide 2008. Vote or Die.
Standard Gargoyle Decisions - Robert Pollard
I like about three solo Pollard songs. Okay, maybe a few more, but still a lot more than most GBV-obsessives would say they liked if they were truly honest with themselves. But regardless, I refuse to put this genius anywhere other than in "The Good." Like always, Pollard doesn't disappoint with the album art. Okay, I actually just listened to the opening track "The Killers" and it sounded great and way better than anything involved with the band who shares the song's name. It also has hand claps, which, of course, are the hallmark of musical genius.
Rare & Unreleased Recordings from the Golden Reign of the Queen of Soul - Aretha Franklin
Well, that's one hell of a title. I mean, I'm by no means an Aretha fan, but this could be something cool. If I was ever to buy an Aretha CD this might be the one I'd get. Homegirl could sing and she had great bands behind her during her "golden reign," so that could possibly make up for the fact that her tunes come off as ridiculously boring in comparison to everything Stax and Motown.
Live - R.E.M.
Though lacking in the early classics category (what? no "1,000,000"?!?!), this 2CD/1DVD set could be cool. I'd rather listen to (early) REM than anything by any of the other stereotypical bands that old white people tend to love. They're way better than U2 and a million times better than the Police or Springsteen. Seriously, old white people love The Boss the same way T.I. loves machines guns. If you're gonna buy this then fine, do it, you just better already own Murmur and Reckoning.
The Bad:
A Mighty Heart
I think this has Angelina Jolie in it. I think we can all agree that's enough to make it bad. Let's see what IMDb has to say about it...Oh okay, this is about Daniel Pearl or something. I guess I won't crack jokes then. This doesn't change my opinion about Jolie though. She is stupid and so are her kids. I don't know why anyone would wanna buy this.
Hendrix @ Monterey
Yeah, it's great. He burns the guitar...yay...! But why would anyone wanna watch anything Monterey related if it isn't gonna feature Otis Redding's performance? I realize most people who love Hendrix don't give a fuck about Otis Redding. That's fine. People are stupid and I've been accepting of this for a long time, but not having Redding's performance on this DVD is like watching the movie Jaws but changing the channel every time the shark's motif starts to play (Or listening to Only Built 4 Cuban Linx but putting the stereo on mute every time Ghostface starts to rap).
The Jazz Singer
I'm way too young to even have an opinion on this.
The Ugly:
Planet Terror
Continuing in the footsteps of Death Proof, Planet Terror is getting it's bullshit DVD release tomorrow. How could they not release the two films together? This is seriously one of the greater injustices that has occurred in my lifetime. Not only are the movies not combined into one package, BUT they don't even have the fake trailers as bonus material on either. I seriously do not understand the logic here. Boycott this until they do right by their fans.
Transformers
Seftron may love him (I don't know) but I can't stand Shia Labeouf. I didn't watch Transformers as a kid, so maybe that explains why I didn't want to see this at all compared to all my guy friends (who all went to see it on the day it was released). There was also the fact that I saw LaBeouf wearing that Strokes baseball tee five times in that one commercial for the film. It was the same Strokes baseball tee that I wore for a good amount of my freshmen year of high school, and I don't really wanna have anything at all in common with this kid. Plus there was the Tyrese factor. This is an ugo. Nice crustache, douche ("word").
Ultimate Santana - Santana
One of the better acts at Woodstock, in the past 40 years Santana has become maybe the most annoying "band" in the world. Sure, reap the benefits and make some money, Carlos. That's cool. I don't care, but if you're gonna do it could you not have Rob Thomas in your songs? I dunno. Again, why would someone buy this? Just get their debut album if anything.
Reason EP - The Fray
Now this is a passing of the torch if I've ever seen one. The only question that can be asked is if it's the greatest EP since Watery, Domestic or is it the greatest EP since Soft Effects? You decide 2008. Vote or Die.
i'm still coming with that underground gangster shit
If there is one thing Crustache is truly, hopelessly devoted to, its science. Basically, we are scientists, but we hate We Are Scientists (the best thing about WAS is that the dude’s name is Keith Murray.) We are currently working around the clock to deduce why Ghostface made this song, but I decided to take a break and harness the power of science to psychoanalyze one of my housemates based on a random selection of songs from her playlist. I don’t really talk to anyone in my house, but everyone is on the same network so I can silently judge people based on their itunes.
All My Life- K-Ci and JoJo
Someone once gave me a mix where this was the first and last song. He was like 7 years older than me and looked like one of K Ci’s exposed JoJos (Jingleball 2000 holla.) -1
You Can Do It- Ice Cube
This song is awesome and the reason I wasn’t allowed to listen to WPGC on the way home from tennis practice in 4th grade, which was unfortunate because if there was ever an ideal time for me to be bumpin’ Blackstreet, feindin’ like an athlete, that was it. +1
Ghost in This House- Alison Krauss
I really can’t stand Alison Krauss, probably because at this barbeque place I spent two unfortunate summers working at they were really into playing this awful duet where her and some asshole sing about some person killing themselves and the angels singing a whiskey lullaby. This song is also bad. -1.
Okay, it turns out I didn’t really psychoanalyze anyone, and I’m not totally sure what the points are for. I think this might be a bad idea for a feature. However, I will be frequenting this girl’s music library in the future for her extensive collection of Bill Cosby stand up recordings and Los Lobos.
Oct 12, 2007
Crustache Video of the Week
"Reunited Airlines" - Kleenex Girl Wonder
Why is this the video of the week?
-Fruitopia...EVERYWHERE!
-bad fake drumming
-Graham's wearing a Kleenex Girl Wonder shirt
-pornography
-it's my favorite KGW song and my 2nd favorite Graham Smith song (#1 "The Nondescript")
-the only time Graham looks directly into the camera is to say "outstanding!"
-ducks
Why is this the video of the week?
-Fruitopia...EVERYWHERE!
-bad fake drumming
-Graham's wearing a Kleenex Girl Wonder shirt
-pornography
-it's my favorite KGW song and my 2nd favorite Graham Smith song (#1 "The Nondescript")
-the only time Graham looks directly into the camera is to say "outstanding!"
-ducks
Official Crustache NON- Endorsements
If Spider Bags and The Childballads are Crustache's musical Obama and...Kucinich(?) then that means these bands are the Romneys, the Giulianis, and McBains (I'm watching Simpsons SN7 and subconsciously wrote that. you know what i mean so I ain't gonna change it). Here are some bands we would never wanna listen to, let alone endorse for the presidency:
Radiohead - If one more person comes into my work this week and asks for the new Radiohead CD I'm gonna pretend they're Thom Yorke and karate chop them in the face with all the soul in my body. Being that Thom Yorke is in a band with Johny Greenwood he would not know how to react to all the soul that's gonna be unleashed upon his face. That's because, you see, he has never been around anyone the least bit soulful (moral of that sentence = Radiohead has no soul). I like that slut Janet York more than I like Thom Yorke. Shit, I like her fake-me-out Dad more than I like Thom Yorke. I was listening to John Pilger on Democracy Now while driving home from class today and it made me like Britain and British people for about five seconds...and then I then Radiohead popped back into my mind and ruined it for their whole damn country.
Patrick Wolf - I have never heard his music, but I don't need to. Sometimes you just know you hate something. I mean come on, what about that picture says "like me! you'll enjoy my music." Answer: Nothing, nothing at all, unless you're a gay circus clown who's also a Decemeberists fan (let the record show that I also hate the Decemberists). I hate his haircut. I hate his clothing. I hate how Pitchkfork loves him. Let's just hope he disappears.
Kevin Drew - I went through a really big Broken Social Scene phase that I do not regret. I still like BSS and think they have some great songs, but that could not stop my BSS phase ending with the quickness of, say, a Santana Moss. It all started when I saw them last fall at the 9:30 Club. It was probably the worst show I've ever been to and I've seen a lot of shit bands. Obviously, a lot of the members weren't there and it just seemed to drag on for hours (including a butchering of "The Wagon." and motherfuckin' Do Make Say Think as the opening act). Anyways, BSS is a good band, but Kevin Drew seems like one hell of a dipshit. Then after reading this he no longer seemed like a dipshit, he has actually cemented himself as an absolute dipshit and he best believe he has a karate chop coming his way.
Feist - You used to be cute, but now you're on my TV more than the guy who played U-Turn on Weeds until he was killed and then I saw him the following week on My Name is Earl. As my Dad use to tell to me "be gone with your bad self."
well actually, all these suckers are foreigners, thus could not be president of this wonderful, perfect, flawless country. thank god.
Radiohead - If one more person comes into my work this week and asks for the new Radiohead CD I'm gonna pretend they're Thom Yorke and karate chop them in the face with all the soul in my body. Being that Thom Yorke is in a band with Johny Greenwood he would not know how to react to all the soul that's gonna be unleashed upon his face. That's because, you see, he has never been around anyone the least bit soulful (moral of that sentence = Radiohead has no soul). I like that slut Janet York more than I like Thom Yorke. Shit, I like her fake-me-out Dad more than I like Thom Yorke. I was listening to John Pilger on Democracy Now while driving home from class today and it made me like Britain and British people for about five seconds...and then I then Radiohead popped back into my mind and ruined it for their whole damn country.
Patrick Wolf - I have never heard his music, but I don't need to. Sometimes you just know you hate something. I mean come on, what about that picture says "like me! you'll enjoy my music." Answer: Nothing, nothing at all, unless you're a gay circus clown who's also a Decemeberists fan (let the record show that I also hate the Decemberists). I hate his haircut. I hate his clothing. I hate how Pitchkfork loves him. Let's just hope he disappears.
Kevin Drew - I went through a really big Broken Social Scene phase that I do not regret. I still like BSS and think they have some great songs, but that could not stop my BSS phase ending with the quickness of, say, a Santana Moss. It all started when I saw them last fall at the 9:30 Club. It was probably the worst show I've ever been to and I've seen a lot of shit bands. Obviously, a lot of the members weren't there and it just seemed to drag on for hours (including a butchering of "The Wagon." and motherfuckin' Do Make Say Think as the opening act). Anyways, BSS is a good band, but Kevin Drew seems like one hell of a dipshit. Then after reading this he no longer seemed like a dipshit, he has actually cemented himself as an absolute dipshit and he best believe he has a karate chop coming his way.
Feist - You used to be cute, but now you're on my TV more than the guy who played U-Turn on Weeds until he was killed and then I saw him the following week on My Name is Earl. As my Dad use to tell to me "be gone with your bad self."
well actually, all these suckers are foreigners, thus could not be president of this wonderful, perfect, flawless country. thank god.
Oct 10, 2007
New Release Tuesday: October 9, 2007
Yeah, I'm late. So what? Some of us have escuela to attend to.
I'm doing this thing where I try and not be as bitter and cynical as I usually am, so I'll only bring up the good stuff this week (sorry to those who wanted some Eric Clapton or Josh Groban bashing)...
The Flying Club Cup - Beirut
Man, this kid is good. Real good. The Neutral Milk influence is obvious, but not in the annoying way that it is with the Decemberists. I highly recommend this album, and though, not as good as Gulag Orkestar, I still think it's one of the top 20 releases I've heard so far this year. Plus, the kid's like my age (20-21?) That kind of adds to the brilliance. Go buy it.
I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert I'm reading this as we speak and it's obviously a guilty pleasure, but still one of the funniest books I've ever read after 20+ pages in.
Rock 'n Roll Jesus - Kid Rock
Why did Kid Rock name his album after Lou Reed? I don't get it.
Cease to Begin - Band of Horses
I like the bands Wilco, Flaming Lips, Sufjan and Built to Spill, but if you describe a band by saying those bands and the adding "meets" in between each name I will never ever, ever wanna listen to the band you're trying to describe. Though, I'd like to to give props to Band of Horses for having a song called "Detlef Schrempf"
Meerkat Manner, Season 1
If you haven't sat around and watched this show on a late night then you haven't lived life. I can't even count the number of times I've had this on mute while I've listened to American Water.
Wrote a letter to a wildflower
on a classic nitrogen afternoon.
Some power that hardly looked like power
said, “I’m perfect in an empty room.”
Okay, to be honest, maybe it's the weed talking, but play "The Wild Kindness" while Meerkat is on mute. It has a profound effect not just on the show, but the song too. I feel like DB might dig Meerkat.
The Original Sonny Boy Williamson Boxset - Sonny Boy Williamson
While growing up my dad had a really cool Sonny Boy Williamson shirt. When he finally decided to relinquish it to us kids it no longer fit me and my bro Devin got it and wore it through most of high school. Moral of this story: Devin and my dad are assholes/Sonny Boy Williamson is so good even 9 year old white boys know it. Check it out.
Widow City - Fiery Furnaces
I've never been into these guy but my last.fm girlfriend foranapple seems to love them so I decided to give it a shot. I mean, isn't that what relationships are all about? You give a little, you take a little. I listened to it once all the way through and you know, I didn't hate it. I'll have to try it again, but they seem...likable, maybe. Plus, the chick has bangs, so this could be a budding relationship, on two levels.
Grass Geysers...Carbon Clouds - Enon
I liked Enon's last album decently enough, but I don't know. They aren't really something I can get into. I like my arty-noise rock more on the...Times New Viking side. I mean, I dig it. They're playing the Rock and Roll Hotel soon-ish and if nothing is going down that night I'll probably go check them out. If I had to give it a number out of 10 I'd give the album a 7.4
Riot City Blues Tour (DVD) - Primal Scream
I'm guessing they didn't play "Velocity Girl" on this tour, so I could really give a fuck about it. If you haven't been lucky enough to ever hear Primal Scream's only good song (?) here you go. Don't ask me what the hell this video is, just listen to the song.
I'm doing this thing where I try and not be as bitter and cynical as I usually am, so I'll only bring up the good stuff this week (sorry to those who wanted some Eric Clapton or Josh Groban bashing)...
The Flying Club Cup - Beirut
Man, this kid is good. Real good. The Neutral Milk influence is obvious, but not in the annoying way that it is with the Decemberists. I highly recommend this album, and though, not as good as Gulag Orkestar, I still think it's one of the top 20 releases I've heard so far this year. Plus, the kid's like my age (20-21?) That kind of adds to the brilliance. Go buy it.
I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert I'm reading this as we speak and it's obviously a guilty pleasure, but still one of the funniest books I've ever read after 20+ pages in.
Rock 'n Roll Jesus - Kid Rock
Why did Kid Rock name his album after Lou Reed? I don't get it.
Cease to Begin - Band of Horses
I like the bands Wilco, Flaming Lips, Sufjan and Built to Spill, but if you describe a band by saying those bands and the adding "meets" in between each name I will never ever, ever wanna listen to the band you're trying to describe. Though, I'd like to to give props to Band of Horses for having a song called "Detlef Schrempf"
Meerkat Manner, Season 1
If you haven't sat around and watched this show on a late night then you haven't lived life. I can't even count the number of times I've had this on mute while I've listened to American Water.
Wrote a letter to a wildflower
on a classic nitrogen afternoon.
Some power that hardly looked like power
said, “I’m perfect in an empty room.”
Okay, to be honest, maybe it's the weed talking, but play "The Wild Kindness" while Meerkat is on mute. It has a profound effect not just on the show, but the song too. I feel like DB might dig Meerkat.
The Original Sonny Boy Williamson Boxset - Sonny Boy Williamson
While growing up my dad had a really cool Sonny Boy Williamson shirt. When he finally decided to relinquish it to us kids it no longer fit me and my bro Devin got it and wore it through most of high school. Moral of this story: Devin and my dad are assholes/Sonny Boy Williamson is so good even 9 year old white boys know it. Check it out.
Widow City - Fiery Furnaces
I've never been into these guy but my last.fm girlfriend foranapple seems to love them so I decided to give it a shot. I mean, isn't that what relationships are all about? You give a little, you take a little. I listened to it once all the way through and you know, I didn't hate it. I'll have to try it again, but they seem...likable, maybe. Plus, the chick has bangs, so this could be a budding relationship, on two levels.
Grass Geysers...Carbon Clouds - Enon
I liked Enon's last album decently enough, but I don't know. They aren't really something I can get into. I like my arty-noise rock more on the...Times New Viking side. I mean, I dig it. They're playing the Rock and Roll Hotel soon-ish and if nothing is going down that night I'll probably go check them out. If I had to give it a number out of 10 I'd give the album a 7.4
Riot City Blues Tour (DVD) - Primal Scream
I'm guessing they didn't play "Velocity Girl" on this tour, so I could really give a fuck about it. If you haven't been lucky enough to ever hear Primal Scream's only good song (?) here you go. Don't ask me what the hell this video is, just listen to the song.
Oct 8, 2007
Mary Lynn Rajskub @ The Birchmere
It's not everyday that you get to hear your dream girl tell funny jokes about threesomes and Clarence Thomas, but fortunately for me yesterday was one of those days.The Mary Lynn Rajskub show at the Birchmere in Alexandria last night was definitely worth the $25 dollar ticket price, and that's saying a lot considering the opening "comedian" (who's name I've forgotten, thank god) was maybe the least funny person I've ever seen. Anti-immigration jokes are not something that are original or funny, and Crustache will not condone their shittyness at all. Anyways, I regress.
Mary Lynn is, in case you've been living under a rock, the actress who plays Chloe O'Brien on the hit TV show 24. Not only that, but it "turns out" she's funny. She's damn funny in fact (As fans of Mr. Show should already know). On top of all that, she's a fox and I think I love her (and, yes, she was sporting bangs, which, along with knowing Jack Bauer, is the easiest way to my heart).
The only other times I've been to the Birchmere I was forced into seeing Dick Dale and then a Jenny Lewis show a few years after that. So, I knew what I was in for: Old white people-ville, and that's exactly what it was. While me and my two accomplices strolled in at 7:25 a little left of sober, The Ozzie and Harriet's of Alexandria/Arlington, VA were enjoying the Birchmere's fine wines and over priced foods. Me and my crew of vagabonds were easily the youngest set of people there, which surprised me a little considering how "hip" I took MLR to be. I guess all the other cool kids in town were at this and I can't really blame them. Had my lady-love not been in town I would have been there too.
Anyways, the first guy was about as funny as Jay Leno...figure it out. Then Mary Lynn came out to save the day and boy did she ever. I'm pretty sure most people there were just fans of 24 and weren't really expecting MLR's stand up to be so bizarre (or probably even knew she did stand up until reading the weekend section of the Washington Post). After the first ten minutes the audience seemed to warm up a little, but while looking around I could tell that a lot people were really taken aback at first. At one point someone laughed at something that obviously wasn't part of a joke, and Mary Lynn had to ask "so that's what you guys are gonna laugh at tonight?" But like I said, everyone warmed up about 15 minutes into her set and it was pure comedic gold for the next hour and a half.
Then before I knew it, after hearing great jokes about ex-boyfriends, Rush Limbaugh and Cuba Gooding Jr. the evening was over and Mary Lynn was walking off the stage. No, I didn't get to give her the mixtape I made for her and no, I didn't get to reenact classic Chloe-Jack dialogue with her, and no, I didn't get to pick her brain about David Cross, but that's okay. I have a feeling her and I will have our day sometime in the very near future.
In case you were wondering about the mixtape I made for Mary Lynn, that wasn't bullshit. I really did make her one (entitled Running Love Protocols, vol. I). Side A starts with "Whole Wide World" by Wreckless Eric and side B ends with "You Got the Silver" by the Stones. That's all I'll say for now unless you wanna copy. If ya do, just let me know.
Anyways, it was a solid B+ show. Just next time get Times New Viking or someone to open for you, Mary Lynn...
Future Crustache Events (hopefully seen as a tandem, and not solo):
October 11th - Sunset Rubdown @ the Black Cat
October 15th - Cat Power w/ the Childballads @ the 9:30 Club
October 19th - British Sea Power @ the Black Cat
October 29th - Patton Oswalt, Brian Poshen, Eugene Mirman and some other hoes @ the Black Cat
Oct 5, 2007
Crustache Video of the Week
Discretion Grove - Stephen Malkmus
Damn, did we really go three posts without mentioning Malkmus? Completely unacceptable, and I promise this error will not be repeated. Our first video of the week has to be from the man himself right? I coulda picked any of the great Pavement videos, but this one was fresh in my mind after seeing it for the first time this week.
Positives: SM, one of his best post-Pavement songs, a hot European chick with bangs, bad joggling, air guitar.
Negatives: This looks like one of the many class projects I failed in high school, mainly the air guitaring, cheesy effects, and use of the phrase "saucy devil." Also, that beginning part that sounds like an Odelay outtake is wack.
Damn, did we really go three posts without mentioning Malkmus? Completely unacceptable, and I promise this error will not be repeated. Our first video of the week has to be from the man himself right? I coulda picked any of the great Pavement videos, but this one was fresh in my mind after seeing it for the first time this week.
Positives: SM, one of his best post-Pavement songs, a hot European chick with bangs, bad joggling, air guitar.
Negatives: This looks like one of the many class projects I failed in high school, mainly the air guitaring, cheesy effects, and use of the phrase "saucy devil." Also, that beginning part that sounds like an Odelay outtake is wack.
Oct 1, 2007
New Release Tuesday Makes Me Hate White People: October 2, 2007
Ahh, Tuesday is upon us. That means now, after a week's wait, we can all go down to the local shop 'n go to purchase our favorite artists newest albums. Being the resident music geek at Borders, I get to not only sticker a million fucking CDs as $14.99 over the weekend, but I also get to make premature evaluations on some of your favorite artists new albums. Here are some of this weeks big releases:
Magic - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
If I could kick any one person right in the balls it would be Bruce Springsteen (or Thom Yorke). I realize that might not be the best way to kick off this blog's third ever post, but I'm just keeping it real. I don't need to hear this album to know it sounds like U2. Also, Little Steven looks like a dude Chris Hansen would bust trying to get with 13 year old Perverted Justice decoy. You're never gonna be Dylan, Bruce. So give it up.
We Are The Pipettes - The Pipettes
Finally the day is here! The Pipettes debut album is getting it's US release tomorrow after being out in the UK for about a year now. Why is this so great? Oh I don't know, are you a fan of hot girls? I sure am. America will be flooded with awkward erections tomorrow and we'll know who to blame.
Dylan - Bob Dylan
Alright, this is a three disc compilation that spans all of Bob's career. Here's the thing: YOU SHOULD ALREADY OWN ALL OF THESE SONGS. If for some reason you wake up tomorrow and decide "Today is the day I'm gonna get into Bob Dylan, But alas, I don't know where to begin," #1 get the fuck off my blog and go kill yourself. #2 Don't buy this compilation. If you're not gonna begin with one of his many masterpieces then I'd say the No Direction Home soundtrack is the compilation to get. When Dylan says "Play it fuckin' loud" at the beginning of that "Royal Albert Hall" rendition of "Like a Rolling Stone," I'm pretty sure it's the high point of human civilization.
Exile on Mainstream - Matchbox 20
Oh no they didn't (or as Seftron says "Blogga please!"). I saw this today and almost threw a fit. If I know you personally and I find out about you buying this, listening to this or being within 10 feet of a copy of this album I will kill any pets you may or may not have and then injure the weakest member of your family. I think we need something to save us right about now. Ahh, that's better. I expect this kinda shit from Everclear, but I thought you were above this, Robby Thomas?
The Shade of Poison Trees - Dashboard Confessional
This album title sounds like the name of a Carlos D-led side project. It's funny though, because when I saw that a new Dashboard album was coming out my first reaction was to take some poison. They remind me of bad 6th grade birthday parties where all the hot girls would listen to them and since I wanted 7 minutes in heaven to go in OT, I wouldn't voice my heartfelt objection to this piece of shit band. My favorite album in 6th grade was most likely Hard Knock Life, Vol. II. I wish there was last.fm back then to prove it.
Random Spirit Lover - Sunset Rubdown
Since, unfortunately, I work at Borders and not Other Music, our new release shipment obtains about three CDs that could even remotely be considered "indie." This is the best one I can think of that's coming out tomorrow. I've heard and like this album a lot. Sunset Rubdown is way better than Wolf Parade in my opinion. Also, the cover art is one of the year's finest thus far. Although, Pitchfork gave it a glowing review today, so maybe endorsing it isn't such a good idea. How many fucking 8.5's can you guys give. Can someone have some balls and please give the new Radiohead album a big fat fucking 2.7? Or like give something a 9.3. Anything!Please god! They're turning into the way Rolling Stone is with giving every album 3.5 stars.
The Jungle Book
Luckily Tuesday is not just a day when shitty CDs come out. Yes, crappy DVDs are released too. Although, The Jungle Book is a rare exception to that rule. This is easily my favorite Disney movie from back when I was a kid (6 months ago). The music is great, the story is great and King Louie is one funky motherfucker. It's finally getting it's DVD release tomorrow after Disney let it out of it's "vault." It's still hard to understand how such fascists could make such a great movie. I had a dream once that Dan Bejar did a cover of " I Wanna Be Like You. " Unfortunately, I researched it and I think I'm gonna to stick to ONLY the original until Bejar gets his shit together.
Entourage: Season Three, Pt. II
So wait, there is a show I hate more than My Name is Earl? Wait what? They released a part one and a part two to milk more money out of stupid yuppies? What? You wanna punch Jeremy Piven in the face too?
Fantastic Four: The Rise of Silver Surfer
Jessica Alba can't even get me to watch this film. She's really on her game lately, I mean, did no else think that new film with her Dane Cook looked like something Fellini would have made if he was still alive? This is totally off subject, but while thinking "why the hell did she make these movies?" it got me thinking "Why and the hell did Ghostface make this song?"
CRUSTACHE NEW RELEASE OF THE WEEK:
Express Yourself: The Stax Records Story
..that should suffice.
Magic - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
If I could kick any one person right in the balls it would be Bruce Springsteen (or Thom Yorke). I realize that might not be the best way to kick off this blog's third ever post, but I'm just keeping it real. I don't need to hear this album to know it sounds like U2. Also, Little Steven looks like a dude Chris Hansen would bust trying to get with 13 year old Perverted Justice decoy. You're never gonna be Dylan, Bruce. So give it up.
We Are The Pipettes - The Pipettes
Finally the day is here! The Pipettes debut album is getting it's US release tomorrow after being out in the UK for about a year now. Why is this so great? Oh I don't know, are you a fan of hot girls? I sure am. America will be flooded with awkward erections tomorrow and we'll know who to blame.
Dylan - Bob Dylan
Alright, this is a three disc compilation that spans all of Bob's career. Here's the thing: YOU SHOULD ALREADY OWN ALL OF THESE SONGS. If for some reason you wake up tomorrow and decide "Today is the day I'm gonna get into Bob Dylan, But alas, I don't know where to begin," #1 get the fuck off my blog and go kill yourself. #2 Don't buy this compilation. If you're not gonna begin with one of his many masterpieces then I'd say the No Direction Home soundtrack is the compilation to get. When Dylan says "Play it fuckin' loud" at the beginning of that "Royal Albert Hall" rendition of "Like a Rolling Stone," I'm pretty sure it's the high point of human civilization.
Exile on Mainstream - Matchbox 20
Oh no they didn't (or as Seftron says "Blogga please!"). I saw this today and almost threw a fit. If I know you personally and I find out about you buying this, listening to this or being within 10 feet of a copy of this album I will kill any pets you may or may not have and then injure the weakest member of your family. I think we need something to save us right about now. Ahh, that's better. I expect this kinda shit from Everclear, but I thought you were above this, Robby Thomas?
The Shade of Poison Trees - Dashboard Confessional
This album title sounds like the name of a Carlos D-led side project. It's funny though, because when I saw that a new Dashboard album was coming out my first reaction was to take some poison. They remind me of bad 6th grade birthday parties where all the hot girls would listen to them and since I wanted 7 minutes in heaven to go in OT, I wouldn't voice my heartfelt objection to this piece of shit band. My favorite album in 6th grade was most likely Hard Knock Life, Vol. II. I wish there was last.fm back then to prove it.
Random Spirit Lover - Sunset Rubdown
Since, unfortunately, I work at Borders and not Other Music, our new release shipment obtains about three CDs that could even remotely be considered "indie." This is the best one I can think of that's coming out tomorrow. I've heard and like this album a lot. Sunset Rubdown is way better than Wolf Parade in my opinion. Also, the cover art is one of the year's finest thus far. Although, Pitchfork gave it a glowing review today, so maybe endorsing it isn't such a good idea. How many fucking 8.5's can you guys give. Can someone have some balls and please give the new Radiohead album a big fat fucking 2.7? Or like give something a 9.3. Anything!Please god! They're turning into the way Rolling Stone is with giving every album 3.5 stars.
The Jungle Book
Luckily Tuesday is not just a day when shitty CDs come out. Yes, crappy DVDs are released too. Although, The Jungle Book is a rare exception to that rule. This is easily my favorite Disney movie from back when I was a kid (6 months ago). The music is great, the story is great and King Louie is one funky motherfucker. It's finally getting it's DVD release tomorrow after Disney let it out of it's "vault." It's still hard to understand how such fascists could make such a great movie. I had a dream once that Dan Bejar did a cover of " I Wanna Be Like You. " Unfortunately, I researched it and I think I'm gonna to stick to ONLY the original until Bejar gets his shit together.
Entourage: Season Three, Pt. II
So wait, there is a show I hate more than My Name is Earl? Wait what? They released a part one and a part two to milk more money out of stupid yuppies? What? You wanna punch Jeremy Piven in the face too?
Fantastic Four: The Rise of Silver Surfer
Jessica Alba can't even get me to watch this film. She's really on her game lately, I mean, did no else think that new film with her Dane Cook looked like something Fellini would have made if he was still alive? This is totally off subject, but while thinking "why the hell did she make these movies?" it got me thinking "Why and the hell did Ghostface make this song?"
CRUSTACHE NEW RELEASE OF THE WEEK:
Express Yourself: The Stax Records Story
..that should suffice.
CRUSTACHE VIDEO BATTLE
In the Crustache tradition of rocking your beard off (no, not you, Dave Berman, you can relax) I've decided to make the inagural Crustache Video of the Week post a good old fashioned rumble. The contenders are...
Bet on It- Zac Efron
This the hottest shit since ever, do yourself a favor and watch it. Zac Efron is so fierce that I've decided he's going to be my nubile pool boy when Dave Berman and I are married. It's perfect because he'll be able to reenact the dramatic water gazing scene at 2:26.
GHOSTFACE WEARS GLASSES, ASSHOLE (see below.) Also, Raekwon might wear transitions lenses.
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